Two and a Half Men

7.4
2003

Production

Logo for Warner Bros. Television
Logo for Chuck Lorre Productions

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

Trailers & Videos

Thumbnail for video: First Five Minutes of the Series

First Five Minutes of the Series

Thumbnail for video: Two and a Half Men: Best of Season 3

Two and a Half Men: Best of Season 3

Thumbnail for video: Two and a Half Men: Best of Charlie Harper

Two and a Half Men: Best of Charlie Harper

Thumbnail for video: Charlie and Jake Go For Shopping

Charlie and Jake Go For Shopping

Thumbnail for video: Two and a Half Men: Behind the Scenes

Two and a Half Men: Behind the Scenes

Thumbnail for video: Clip: Jake Got an A

Clip: Jake Got an A

Thumbnail for video: Opening Theme Song

Opening Theme Song

Thumbnail for video: Season 4 Bloopers

Season 4 Bloopers

Seasons

24 Episodes • Premiered 2003

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 1: Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal

1. Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal

6.4

Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards

2. Big Flappy Bastards

6.9

Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

3. Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

7.2

Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

4. If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

7.4

Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

5. The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

7.1

Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 6: Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

6. Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

6.7

The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

7. If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

7.5

Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 8: Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

8. Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

7.1

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 9: Phase One, Complete

9. Phase One, Complete

6.8

Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving

10. Merry Thanksgiving

7.0

Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

11. Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

6.8

When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 12: Camel Filters and Pheromones

12. Camel Filters and Pheromones

6.8

Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 13: Sarah Like Puny Alan

13. Sarah Like Puny Alan

6.6

Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas

14. I Can't Afford Hyenas

6.5

Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

15. Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

6.7

Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 16: That Was Saliva, Alan

16. That Was Saliva, Alan

6.9

Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

17. Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

7.1

Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 18: An Old Flame with a New Wick

18. An Old Flame with a New Wick

6.9

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

19. I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

7.0

Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

20. Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

6.8

Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing

21. No Sniffing, No Wowing

6.8

Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

22. My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

6.6

When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 23: Just Like Buffalo

23. Just Like Buffalo

7.2

When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.

Still image for Two and a Half Men season 1 episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger?

24. Can You Feel My Finger?

6.8

Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.

Cast

Photo of Ashton Kutcher

Ashton Kutcher

Walden Schmidt

Photo of Jon Cryer

Jon Cryer

Alan Harper

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Reviews

I

Ibraheem...

6/10

The same story all over again, in almost every episode. Tedious, yet there are some great jokes. You would hope it will get better in the next season, it doesn't.

You've reached the end.